Friday, February 25, 2011

Be all I can be!

Wednesday night at small group, I was asked to share my testimony with the ladies (something I hate doing). I know God has been giving me lots of opportunities to share my past with others and as I talk about things, I think it is kind of a healing process for me as well as brings glory to God! Six months ago, I never talked about things that happened. It hurt too badly, and it was easier for me to just not think about it. Now, every time I go back into the past and remind myself of the things I have been through, it is amazing to look at where I am now and be so thankful to God for saving me. If it were not for his love, I can honestly say I would not be where I am today. He is the only one who has always been there for me and never stopped loving me!

After I finished sharing about my childhood up till the present, one of the ladies looked at me and said "honey, you really should go to counseling to deal with all that!" I laughed because, while it's true I probably should go to some sort of counseling, I have already learned so much about dealing with my past, and forgiveness and starting over with a new life. God has placed wonderful people in my path who have had similar situations, and given me great, godly counsel on coping with things. That's what the church family is for! The added bonus is, they don't charge me:)

Lately, God has been teaching me about emotions, and not letting them get in the way of being all that I can be. So often, I let my feelings of insecurity stop me from reaching out to the people around me and as a result, I start to feel out of place. I don't have it all figured out yet, but God has shown me that I need to have peace about who I am and come to a place of peace about my past and realize that I don't have to live there anymore! I am slowly learning to come to terms with the negative aspects of my past, as well as embrace the positive ones. 

"Being set free doesn't mean you will never have another problem or that you will ever feel fearful, depressed, or anxious again. But when upsetting things happen, these things do not control your life."

Jeremiah 30:17 "I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds, says the Lord". 
Isaiah 61:7 "Instead of your shame you shall have double honor, and instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double; everlasting joy shall be theirs."
Clearly, God not only has the power to restore, but also gives us far more than we could ever deserve!

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