Thursday, January 27, 2011

Living life

You know the feeling of life being overwhelming? It's like you have so much to get done, so many people to make happy, and so little time to do all that? Sometimes you may even feel like it's easier to just give up! That's kind of the week that I've been having. There's so much on my plate this semester that by the end of every week I just feel worn out. It's great though, how even in the busiest and most stressful times of life how special time with Jesus can be.

It's during those times when I feel like I'm losing my grip on life that I really start to put my focus back on God. I think it's because I know without him I can't do it! God made us dependent on him for our strength. He is the source of all life! Crazy how we sometimes act like we can live just fine without Him.

Last night I finally made it to women's small group and it was great! God definitely had me be there for a reason:) We talked about memories and how we are in control of them, not the other way around and how important it is not to let Satan use the memories of our past to control us. Instead of looking at my past and feeling sorry for myself and allowing those feelings of hurt, pain, anger, fear etc to pop up in my mind, I should focus on the positives of those memories. For example, although there is a lot of hurt in my past, I know that God has used it to allow me to identify with the pain others have experienced. Even the mistakes that I have made with my life, play a part in God's plan for my life!

I would argue that I learn the most, not just from time spent with God, but also from time spent with God and other sisters in Christ. It's encouraging to be reminded that we are all in this together. I am not alone!

That is part of why I've let my blog be public. I never want to feel like I'm writing FOR other people, or let myself get caught up in what other people think of what I'm writing. This blog is about what God is teaching me and my life experiences. What other people think of it does not matter to me whatsoever (at least that's something I'm working on). However, I have come to the realization that God teaches me things for a reason, not just for me but so that others can be blessed by it and learn from it as well! I want my life to bless others and encourage others...even if that means putting myself out there, weaknesses and all!

Live in the moment. Relax. Enjoy the beauty around you. Live life like it was meant to be lived! 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Faith

Faith, what is it?

Just because it’s my name, doesn’t mean it comes easier for me. Although, I will say at times I feel there’s a reason God allowed me to have the name Faith. That one simple word can make a big difference in life. For me, it can mean the difference between a good day, week, or month, and a bad one of all three. No matter what, everyone has faith in something. This world is full of unproveables (which really isn’t a word but it should be). The important thing is that we have faith in the right things. Faith in ourselves lets us down but faith properly placed can make a world of difference. Bottom line, it is a choice that each day we have to chose for ourselves.

Where do we get this faith? Well even though it is a choice we make, it is ultimately a gift from God that we receive from His word, the Bible. Romans 12:3- God has dealt to each one a measure of faith. Romans 10:17- Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Even though we are given faith, it is often challenged by inevitable circumstances. No one can say they’ve never had a day where they wake up with all the faith in the world and by the end of the day they are wondering “what happened?”. It happens to the best of us!

The biggest one for me is fear. I think fear is my faith challenger. The memories from my childhood constantly follow me asking “what if?” “What if Jimmy stops loving me?” “What if I don’t make a good mother?” “What if I go crazy like so many mothers do?” There are no answers to these questions and if I think about them to long they can overwhelm me! The answer is simple as this and it’s straight from God: Perfect love casts out fear-1John 4:18. God’s perfect love is surrounding me each and every day to protect me from my own fears and doubts! He’s got it under control! He has given me and Jimmy His perfect love, he will fill my heart with His perfect love for my children, and He loves me with His perfect love. No more fear, only faith!

Dear Heavenly Father,  you are my “author and finisher” of my faith (Hebrews 12:2). Help me to be daily reminded of this promise. Help me live up to my name and be an example of what it means to completely trust you with my life. That includes handing all my fears over to you! You are in control and I chose to put the faith you have given me in that eternal promise.

Galations 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I live which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

That is faith.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Stress


Every once in a while, I let myself get overwhelmed by everything that goes into this wedding. There are so many details and expenses that if I think about it too much, I get stressed out. 

What is stress really? What can be done about it? A lot of times, I think I stress myself out because it is me being anxious!

I think it's good to sometimes just stop thinking about all the things I have to do and just focus on God for a minute. He must smile as we run around stressed out, trying to accomplish everything. Is God really going to give us more to do than we have time for? Honestly, He is the ultimate time manager...he created the whole world in 6 days! With him on my side...anything can get done:)

Focusing on God also helps me put things in perspective. How important is the color of the rose petals when looking at the big picture? 

The peace that comes from a moment alone with God is far greater than one that comes from accomplishing a task. Even Jesus took time to spend with God-and he Is God! Luke 5:16 "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed". Sometimes I hesitate to put a hold on my busy schedule to talk to God, and I think that stresses me out more because there is that longing inside of me for time with Him.

How much sweeter it is to know that God wants to talk with me too:) He wants to take all that stress and anxiousness and assure me that He's got it all under control!

Thank you Father for your love that never ends...even when I sometimes put you on on the side, you remain faithful. I love You because you loved me first. Thank you that You don't NEED me to accomplish anything, but you WANT to use me to fulfill your purposes. It is a privilege to be chosen and loved by You.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Our Engagement Story

On December 18, 2010 Jimmy asked me to be his wife...and I said yes:)

 The day started out with us celebrating Christmas together before I went home to MN. We went to the movie store and picked out "It's A Wonderful Life" and then went to Walmart to get some Christmas decorations.

When we got back to Jimmy's duplex, we decorated his Christmas tree. 
It ended up being a lot of fun! We put our presents under it...our very first Christmas tree! We decorated our own ornaments and stockings too!

Then we opened our gifts from each other. Jimmy got me a gps so I don't get lost when I drive back and forth to MN. He also got me a sweatshirt and the most adorable little bear with an embroidered sweater that says "I love you beautiful lady". That's what he calls me when he's being sweet:)
I got Jimmy a couple things but his favorite, as can be expected, was a trail camera!

After the gift opening we took our first Christmas tree picture together. 
Of course at this point, I had no idea he was planning to propose and we settled down to watch our movie! 
After the movie we made dinner together. We made mashed potatoes, lemon pepper chicken, and green bean casserole.  After finding out the man can cook, I should have been the one to get down on one knee right? 

After it was all done, Jimmy told me to go in the back bedroom and wait for him to set up the table really nice. I had no clue what he was doing, but came out the the most beautiful table set up in his living room!

At that point I knew something was up! I questioned him, but he said he was just trying to make Christmas special...and who am I to argue with that? 
So we sat down to eat...or watch Jimmy push his food around on his plate because he was nervous:) 
Being the overly observant girl that I am, I noticed a letter under one of the rose petals. It made me suspicious but when I asked Jimmy, he told me to be patient! 

When we finished eating, he told me I could look under the rose petals. This is what I found....
It's an acronym for "I Love You Beautiful, Will You Marry Me" Acronyms are special for us because when we first started dating, we would write each other messages in acronym and spend the day trying to figure them out. 

Yes, I figured it out, but I hesitated to assume that's what it said...
what if I was wrong? 

What if the letters meant something else and I made things awkward? 

Haha well it didn't take long because this happened....
Yup, my man got down on one knee and held out a ring! 

Every time I imagined getting engaged, I cried (in my mind that is), but now that it was actually happening, there were no tears. I just couldn't believe it!He asked me to marry him, and I believe the first words out of my mouth were
 "Are you serious?"
 (Well obviously, Faith, he has a ring and there's candles and roses...if this is a joke it's a horrible one!) 
He said he was serious and I said YES...
...as he put the most beautiful ring on my finger.
Everything after that was just a blur!
 I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with such an amazing man.

May 14, 2011 here we come!

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