Thursday, August 23, 2012

25 ways to be a good listener

As usual, many of my blog post ideas come from a book I'm reading! For the past year or so, I have been moseying through a book called Becoming the Woman of His Dreams. Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds super cheesy, but the author Sharon Jaynes gives lots of practical bible grounded advice for being a good wife! I don't know about you, but that's something I feel like I can always use help on. It's always good to be reminded of things we can do to make our husbands feel loved.

Now not many husbands are big talkers. I know mine isn't! But when he has something to say, it's usually very important. When my husband takes the time to sit down and share with me, I want the way that I listen to communicate to him that I am listening, that I love him, and I value the fact that he is talking with me! 
Sharon gives some practical ways to be a good listener (specifically to your husband) that I found to be very helpful! 
Here are her 25 ways to be a good listener:
1. Be patient
2. Don't complete his sentences
3. Let him finish, even if he seems to be rambling;)
4. Don't interrupt
5. Face your husband and make eye contact
6. Lean forward to show you are interested
7. Stop what you are doing
8. Ask good questions and avoid the word "why"
9. Ask his opinion about something that happened to you
10. Ask him for his advice on a decision you have to make
11. Don't jump to conclusions
12. Don't give unsolicited advice
13. Don't change the subject until he is really finished with a subject
14. Make verbal responses such as, "I see," "really," to show you are paying attention
15. Turn off the TV
16. Encourage him to tell you more. "What happened next?" "What else did he say?"
17. Put down your book, dishcloth, computer etc...
18. When he is telling of a struggle, rephrase and repeat what you heard. "What I hear you saying is that you felt your boss was being unfair when he asked you to take on three more clients with no extra compensation."
19. Don't answer your phone if he is in the middle of telling you something
20. Don't glance at the time or cross your arms
21. Don't ask him to hurry
22. If a child interrupts, tell him or her to wait until daddy is finished talking
23. Don't tell him how he should have handled the situation differently
24. Don't act bored
25. Thank him for sharing with you.

Tada! There you have it! Did some of those surprise you? I find myself thinking about some of them when I'm having conversations with other people besides my husband as well. People like to talk to a good listener, so let's work together on being one of those people:)
Linking up with: Marital Oneness Monday 


  1. Great list! I definitely want to remember this. Thanks for posting!

  2. This is a great list. I especially need to remember to put down the computer when talking. :)
    My hubby is a big talker, so maybe I should show this to him. lol ;)

  3. wonderful list.
    i agree, we can use this with more than just our husbands.
    i often find myself doing many of things its says not to when conversing with friends.
    thank you for sharing, Faith!

  4. I like number 15! I once heard a preacher say "when the tv is on you can never give your full attention to's more like you're giving 80% to your spouse and 20% to the tv...even if you aren't looking at it" good post today!

  5. Thanks for posting these girls! So helpful and things I totally need to remember.
    Much Love,

  6. Nice list--thanks so much for sharing. I think we all need a little reminder every once and a while :)

  7. Great list! I'm gonna read it a few more times so it gets into my head. :)

  8. What a great list! I need to bookmark this to come back a read a few more times!! :))

  9. I maaay have been reading this post whilst talking to my mum....
    room for improvement, me thinks!
    {dropping in from Flash Blog Friday with Twinkle in the Eye}

  10. Thanks for sharing this list.
    It's a good reminder with everything going on in our little house to just stop and take the time to sit and actually attentively listen, rather than listening while washing the dishes, or cleaning, or cooking. I want to do better at showing I'm listening :)

    Happy Friday, beautiful!

  11. great post! new follower and looking forward to reading more!
    misty @

  12. Hi Faith! I happened to stumble upon your blog just now and am so happy I did! This post reminded me of what I shared a few days ago.

    Thought you might enjoy it too! :)

  13. My love is a very big talker as I am the quite. My father is Cuban and is also a big talker so I have got 'experience' from him on this. I'm use to my love expressing himself thoroughly. With my career, I have no choice but to listen and honestly it's the best thing for others! Nevertheless, this is a really really great list!!!

  14. A great post with things we all need to remember. Have a super week.

    PS I know you have probably been busy. Just a wee reminder that it would be great if you followed Carole's Chatter back. Cheers

  15. "Don't give unsolicited advice"--that's the one I need to work on the most!

  16. Excellent post, Faith. Thank you so much for sharing this list at The Alabaster Jar!

  17. Faith...Fabulous encouragement of how to be a good listener. Thank you for sharing at WJIM this week. Blessings.


Your comments bring a smile to my face! Thanks for visiting my blog :)


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