Thursday, September 6, 2012

Understand Marriage?

Do you understand how a marriage is supposed to work?
Divorce statistics would indicate that over 50% of us have no clue to the point of throwing our hands up in the air and quitting.
I am only on my second year of marriage and can't even claim to have it half figured out. But, I can tell you one thing, I love learning how my marriage is supposed to work, especially from God's word!

Lately I've been comparing the Message Bible version with the NIV that I normally read. I know this is no crazy revelation, or even something we haven't all read before, but when it came to the Ephesians 5 passage on marriage, I was blown away by the way The Message worded it. 
I think it's beautiful!
Take 2 minutes and read carefully through the following passage taken from Ephesians 5.

"Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.
Wives, understand and support your husband in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting. 
Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. {Love that} And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor-since they're already "one" in marriage.
No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That's how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. 
And this is why a man leaves his father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become "one flesh." This is a huge mystery, and I don't pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. 
And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. 

Isn't that beautiful?

The world tells us that marriage is about what makes us happy. The #1 reason I hear of for divorce is "he/she doesn't make me happy anymore." Even among Christians!
If we are truly trying to follow Christ and imitate his desires for our marriage, our marriages would be about how much we can GIVE, not how much we can GET.
How awesome to think that as wives when we give of ourselves to understand and support our husbands, we are showing our support for Christ. Wow! 
Really makes you think about the big picture doesn't it?


  1. What a great reminder! I have heard Eph 5 at so many weddings and so often people get held up on the "wives submit to your husbands" part without even hearing the rest of it - the beautifully painted picture of husbands and wives loving and serving one another unselfishly. We have been married almost 3 years and are still leaning how to do this - but I can honestly say that I can see our marriage being healthier during the times we are making an extra effort to to those things in Eph 5 (me supporting and submitting and him providing and taking care of me). Great post :)

  2. We always seem to forget the giving part, don't we? Fantastic post!

  3. Great post! It's sad that most couples go off of feelings. "I don't feel" loved anymore, yada yada...which is odd because never once does the bible say love is a feeling. Good post. And I'm like you - only 3 years thus far but I love learning as we go, the biblical way.

  4. Love the translation of that verse! Thanks for the reminder, I'll be sharing those verses with my hubby after work tonight!

  5. That is beautiful! I am a fan of KJV but sometimes a different version can really make sense.
    I am hosting a new weekly link-up called Matrimonial Monday and I love love it if you were to link up :)

  6. Oh, I love that translation from the message! Thank you for pointing that out. Blessings to you in your marriage!

    Visiting from What Joy is Mine.

  7. Love this!! "If we are truly trying to follow Christ and imitate his desires for our marriage, our marriages would be about how much we can GIVE, not how much we can GET." Amen! Great post!

    New follower from the Titus 2 Tuesday Link Up.


  8. I love what you shared about it not being what we get. So very, very true.

  9. It is quite beautiful and true! Thank you for sharing. Visiting from Cornerstone Confessions. Would love it if you would share this at my Make it Pretty Monday party at The Dedicated House. Hope to see you at the bash! Toodles, Kathryn @TheDedicatedHouse

  10. I love this! Such a good reminder that I can never hear enough of :) I think the times that I'm most restless in my marriage is when I'm being totally selfish!! Congrats on the babe I love the name :)

  11. Coming over from the Desire to Inspire link-up. This is an amazing post. The Ephesians 5 passage is very eye opening worded that way. I think sometimes it takes us hearing something in another translation for us to understand it and not just hear "blah-blah-blah... yea I've heard it before." Thank you for this post. In our consumeristic culture we want to see what we can get from everything. A lot of people won't come to churches unless they can "get" something while we are there. We look at community and do what's most convenient for us and go where we can get the most. It's really sad because this isn't how Jesus calls us to live at all. I know in marriage that my husband isn't here to make me happy. If he does then that's a plus but he's here to push me closer to Christ, which sometimes means that I'm not happy. It's not fun to have moved 3 times in a year and a half looking at moving a fourth time in 2 years because of college, but it's where God is calling us and where my husband is leading us and I'm happy with that. It's crazy how we as humans always opt for the most convenient thing instead of the most sacrificial. It really makes me realize how different Jesus was. :)

  12. Hi Faith! Thank you for this post - what a great translation of that passage in Ephesians! Several years ago Mr. E. and I discussed our goals and vision for our marriage. Ultimately we decided that our marriage is about bringing glory to God. It's not about being happy, being rich, being influential, or anything like that. It's about glorifying Christ through loving ans submissive obedience. It's hard to remember that sometimes, but it keeps us on track when we get distracted by life.

    Thanks so much for sharing, and for linking up to #DesireToInspire!

  13. What a great reminder! In my marriage, I have learned to be intentional in loving my and serving with the desire to be a biblical wife. It takes work and reiteration even 21 years later...but oh so worth it! Thank you for sharing at WJIM this week.

  14. A wonderful post, and I am so inspired to see so many young women here understand its importance! Thank you. I am looking forward to looking through your blog more.


Your comments bring a smile to my face! Thanks for visiting my blog :)


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